Several of his friends and fellow students mentioned that they knew he was upset and depressed. The following comment is really worrisome…
For him it was his SELF-RESPECT. That was his priority.. He preserved it.. He didnt cry 4 days n months b4 he dead.. He made his decision long ago.. He LIVED as long as he lived.. He died in his fav place @ his fav tym whn he decided to die.. appreciate his courage dude!! Hw many can hav dat??
OK…What is wrong with this picture?
First off, if you know that someone has been planning suicide for a year—that person needs help! It is not the sign of friendship not to let family and others know that this person is thinking of ‘suicide.’
Second, there is no glory here—if someone lets you know that he/she has been planning suicide for a year, it means he is asking for help. He is in effect telling you, “I can’t deal with this stress. I’m thinking of suicide and am letting you know. Please help me and stop me from doing this.” It may not be all these actual words but that is what he is telling you!
Suicide has no self respect component! It is either an impulsive decision or in this case, an inability to understand the bigger picture and cope with the situational stress. If it was a case of clinical depression, that too would have been evident.
Other comments from friends also mention that the student was shocked by what his professor said. Why didn’t any friend take the time to spend the day with him? Yes, the professor maybe at fault? This tragedy have been averted if any one of his friends witing comments had spent time with the student until his family arrived
At the other end of the spectrum are comments such as:
“No sympathy for the boy. If he could not fight the simple challenge then how he can face the world.”
A sweeping assumption that everyone has to deal with everything without any help, this very attitude stops youngsters from asking for help.
We all face difficulties in life—sometimes we are strong and other times we need help. None of us is strong all the time.
“Brilliant mind yet a foolish and weak person at best.”
Really? Isn’t it amazing how the ignorant make their point of view sound like a fact?
Suicide is not about being foolish or weak minded. This is one of the most debilitating myths we Indians have about suicide. Why do I say debilitating? By putting the blame on the person who commits suicide society can continue to function in its set ways—without any introspection. We don’t have face uncomfortable questions such as “Was I wrong? Did I handle the situation correctly? What can be done differently? How do we reach out to others to prevent any further tragedies?”
Has our educational system and society become so driven by ‘technical knowledge’ that we can’t see the frailties in the other person? When did we become so helpless that we can’t read others’ distress signals and spend a day with them?
Maybe we glorify or revile suicide because it allows us to be ignorant and abdicate responsibility.
Ms. S
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